Category Archives: Table Tennis

Keane Mills: The 100% Kid

dour scot

He has the hard jaw of youth – an almost inert face that gives very little away. After speaking to him, you do not get the sense that he has won anything, but rather lost. There is a bit of the dour Scot in him – a solemn, behind-the-eyes weighing up of events. And yet he is a Boltonian, a successful English lad who has walked through his home town’s 4th division untrammeled and unbeaten.

Keane Mills, 15-years-old and 5’9” tall – a product of the Harper Brass stable (along with team mates Ellis Longworth and Nathan Rhodes) – has done something only two other people have done in recent years: he has gone through a full season without losing. Two extremes of the table tennis circuit seem to cosset such triumph – the Premier Division and Division Four; Michael Moir and John Nuttall earlier beneficiaries of the grandeur.

Mills is a special case though. The title was confirmed on April Fools’ Day when he was still 14 – eight years ahead of 22-year-old Nuttall’s startling achievement in 2012/13. ‘No matter what age you are, you can still match the best,’ he believes and asserts in equal measure – the candour not exactly pouring from him, but offering a rare glimpse of his conviction. ‘I show everyone respect and expect it back and I don’t show my anger as I believe it is a weakness. If you lose your head, you lose the game.’

It is this maturity and precocious flowering which has seemingly led him to where he is now: the recipient of a ‘Double’ in only his second league season (Harper Brass ‘D’ securing the Ron Hindle Trophy days after their title win). Indeed, he claims to have picked up a bat for the first time a mere “two and a half years ago while on holiday” – his exceptional hand/eye coordination obvious to all.

Fellow players around the clubs beat the Mills’ drum. In describing ‘the 100% kid’ a consistent array of words passes their lips: steady; good temperament; right attitude; attacking; patient; level-headed; lots of potential; great serves; focused. These qualities alone cannot have built such a force, an emerging warlord when at the table. They perhaps complement the evident desire and ministrations that exude from him however.

Necessary, critical voices that stray from the consensus point to the young man’s middle game, his unforced errors and also the fact that his mobility seems to be, at times, like a granny reaching for the sweet tray. “He only moves a bit,” one source commented. But what if he only needs to move a bit thus regularly returns to his upright stance whilst flogging the opposition.

Keane is uncompromising: ‘I’m guessing I didn’t move much against this one person.’ The stats bear this out – just two of his 66 conquests have gone to five sets and they were in September. More impressively, he cares. When the title was briefly in the hands of rivals Polonia at 9.30pm on 31st March, he could not bear it: ‘My heart was in my mouth. I thought we had lost it and I was very frustrated.’

 

Closed Championship Finals 2015: Musa Magic but Steve Scowcroft takes the Biggest Prize on a Fine Night for the Lefties

Fox_in_the_Chicken_Coop75Landscape

Hard to watch the normal matches, the gentle drift of ping-pong balls, when an evening opens up with such a classic. Usually there is a logical order to things, a slow increase in the Hilton Centre’s voltage by dint of talent: Level Veterans’ (40+) Singles final first, Level Doubles somewhere in the middle, and finally the Level Singles – supposedly the big boys without the creaks.

Not tonight. Charles ‘Marvellous’ Musa – pores still full with his 2014 Preston Championships treble – has pitched his veterans tent and is scouring the place for weaker opposition. What he sees is a man who hung around the English Table Tennis Association rankings in the 1980s with the likes of Desmond Douglas, Alan Cooke, John Hilton and Matthew Syed. His name? Stephen Scowcroft.

It is not always obvious when you are in the presence of a former great. It should be, but it isn’t. Scowcroft does not have the face of Bjorn Borg. Neither does he have the presence of Shaquille O’Neal. His body has been ravaged a little by the sands of time. His grey, receding hair gives the impression of a modestly sophisticated businessman. What has remained, however, are the eyes – sharp, darting constructions apparent to anyone who has watched live sport.

Musa played this man just over two weeks ago in what was the penultimate match of their Premier season and managed to edge it 11-8,9-11,5-11,11-9,11-9. Now, with Scowcroft barely three months out of retirement after an apparent 20-year sabbatical and Musa, loyalties this season tipped towards Ashton ‘A’ (Preston) over Nomads ‘A’ (Bolton), such a clash is a tray of cakes to the neutral.

It is green versus blue: Musa’s bright Butterfly top the coolest attire in the joint and something he tucks in seconds before the match acknowledging the seriousness of the occasion; Scowcroft, family around him – cameras at the ready – immediately alert and engaged, his gifted left hand delving into the archives for shots.

The early exchanges conjure up an image of skilled rocking chairs firing out bullets such is the players’ rhythmic brilliance, their mastery of stretching to returns. At 5-5 in the 1st Scowcroft mouths ‘Rushing’ – the realisation that Musa has pulled him in, has notched up the intensity and intends to go with the form book. With Scowcroft 7-6 down, I scribble “Shouldn’t be losing”. His polish is obvious to an amateur – each shot sculpted, warmed by the expensive rubbers on his blade.

A source articulates it better, more harshly: “He’s still playing the big lefty forehand loop…too high-octane for his age. He can’t get back into position.” Musa sees out the set…just (13-11).

The 2nd set is full of disorder, of competing mental game plans. Musa leads 3-1 but a soft Scowcroft backhand Krypton Factors over the net. 3-5 moments later – Musa in trouble. Are you here to entertain or win? you almost hear him think. Win is the answer as he becomes cagey, tactical, begins to exploit the Scowcroft right flank. 11-8: Just one more Charles.

The Musa nose snorts firmly. A 5-2 lead in the 3rd and then the relatively easy gravitation to 11-8. “Musa!” he harangued himself with in the middle of this set, but it’s another title, another jamboree.

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Other results:

Handicap Doubles (scratch)

Brett Haslam & Michael Dore beat Dennis Collier & Steve Barber (7-11, 12-10, 9-11, 14-12, 11-7)

>>> Haslam, serial bouncer of the ball before serving, responded to the shoulder-rolled angled forehands of Barber. Embarrassed by his own play early doors, Haslam found something in combination with Dore to shackle the frolicsome team of Collier and Barber.

Handicap Veterans’ (60+) Singles (2 handicap to JS)

Tom Ryan beats John Scowcroft (6-11, 11-9, 12-10, 11-8)

>>> Johnny Scowcroft is like a wind-up toy, the Duracell bunny that “lasts longer, much longer”. His 79-year-old frame, kitted out in trademark moss green T-shirt and tight blue shorts, strangles the 1st set. Ryan – perhaps just off the plane from Oz wearing an old-style cap and thin white beard – works his way into the match however…his black pimples becoming too much for the flat-hitting bobber (Scowcroft – 6-2 up in the 2nd, but the wheels coming off). Those windscreen wiper shots from Scowcroft – as if down at the car wash – are insufficient, flailing now in the company of the canny Ryan. Scowcroft is still fast and furious – a human tornado – but he is rushing past himself, his armoury, the full gamut of his available talents. The match ends and Scowcroft shifts his heavy thighs and grabs his purple towel from under the table. He looks like a man who needs a whisky, who wishes to be transported into gown and slippers. Ryan, the 76% player from Ramsbottom ‘C’  in Division One – Tommy to some, Mr Ryan to others – needed to turn his back more in the early parts of this match, prevent Scowcroft from hurrying him, but he has come good, seen off the threat of the bobber.

Level Doubles

David Scowcroft & Stephen Scowcroft beat Dennis Collier & Steve Barber (11-8, 7-11, 11-8, 11-4)

>>> Dave Scowcroft, the man with the widest stance on the circuit and the most sinister glasses, needed the support of older brother Stephen (Most Improved Player of the Season 1979-80) to eclipse the partnership of ‘The Roadie’ Collier and the buoyant and infectious Barber “who stopped ageing at 29”.

Handicap Singles (scratch)

Keith Dale beats Robert Bent (11-8, 11-6, 8-11, 11-7)

>>> A guttural sound emanates from the southpaw, Dale in the manner of a Russian tennis player each time he strikes the ball. The gum-chewing 50% man from Division One dressed in blue Butterfly top and navy shorts looks poised and stylish – the unfair mien of the iconoclastic leftie in that they always look more capable. Bent went up to the Premier Division in September 2014 but found the going tough with his flat hitting – a return of 14% better than teammates James Hewitt (9%) and Mark Speakman (2%) but nonetheless quite damning. Dale, mid-table solace in One with Nomads ‘C’, is comfortable from beginning to end in this match despite the 3rd set give-up; his shots – complete with kick – leaving the green Stiga-topped Bent vulnerable. A quiet seemed to descend the hall during this match, but that was in part due to the Musa/Scowcroft singles show earlier, still in the heads of the watching public.

Level Singles

Stephen Scowcroft beats Michael Dore (11-7, 11-8, 11-6)

>>> Michael Dore, the Rubeus Hagrid of the table tennis circuit, would have been better advised to slip opponent Steve Scowcroft inside his overcoat and make off with him rather than square up to the nimble assassin. Despite his heroic semi-final defeat of Charles Musa (87%) – 12-10, 17-15, 2-11, 14-12 – Dore (51%) was never likely going to challenge the improving Scowcroft whose renewed hunger for the game will only intensify. The 60% record of Scowcroft since he again set foot on this hallowed turf on the 8th January is largely misleading in three respects: 1) He has yet to restore his ‘Five- set’ head having won only 1 of 6 marathon matches this season, 2) He had a dreadful late February / early March against Flixton and Ramsbottom (losing all six) – largely trials and testing ground before a good chunk of his old game returns, 3) His form will return and the expected transfer to Flixton for the 2015/16 season will whet his appetite, particularly as Ramsbottom had it far too easy this season courtesy of a mammoth 40-point cushion in the league. Coaxed out of retirement by brother, Dave, Steve will get the big guns of Ramsbottom (Lightowler & Moir) thinking again, nay panicking, if an ounce of his 1980s form can be reproduced. Tonight, he was too much for the black and grey striped Dore – sweat pouring from the bigger man’s left breast. The expletives which on occasion escaped the lips of Scowcroft suggest an inner force crying to get out and frustrated so far in his efforts to refine his game to the levels he expects. Dore led 5-4 in the first two sets of this auspicious final but one sensed throughout that Scowcroft is only beginning to discover forgotten gems at the foot of his old locker – shots and tactics that will project him to modest highs and hopefully make the Premier Division interesting once more.

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Played before tonight:

Level Mixed Doubles

Dennis Collier & Annie Hudson beat Charles Musa & Jean Smart

>>> The master chopper, Collier had to win something. From his workshop the compact, defensive warrior used lathe, wood and nous to take out the distinctive Premier/Division Three pairing of Musa and Smart.

Level Junior Singles

Jordan Brookes beats Max Brooks

>>> Watch out for ‘Mad’ Max as he conquers Division Two next season. They said a new Wilson Parker could not be built, but the signs are that something special has arrived.

 

 

Warburton Cup Final 2015

Image result for pencil drawing cup

Never a big crowd, but then the people of Bolton remain largely unaware of this April feast. One half expects the players to size up the place in their suits beforehand, check out the ‘turf’ and see if their honed abilities are suited to the generous surroundings. Such is the peculiar nature of this special night though, that the first of the players arrive just ten minutes before the prescribed 7.30pm start; their faces apprehensive, curious – a slight ‘getting off the coach’ gloss to them.

Representing Ladybridge ‘C’, the Division Two minnows, are Captain Brian Greenhalgh, John Birchall, and John Cole. The latter is the rangy looper, Birchall the stocky southpaw and Greenhalgh the low-chopping sage – tash stolen from a broomstick. The hefty handicap of 240.5 will help tonight, but this is rare territory – a battle with the might of the Premier Division, a syncopated reshuffling of their talent.

Little Lever ‘A’, used to the rigours of significant evenings, stroll in with the penetrating stare of mountain wolves. The different stance of these players is immediately evident. They are canny. Their thumbs and fingers encase the bat like axemen. Ron Durose (c), Graham Jeffries and Philip Riley – each of them like to win. Each of them, with plaster cast from a make-up artist, could comfortably symbolise the dark to Frodo Baggins’ light.

Match one is Birchall versus Jeffries – the teams’ top seeds but Jeffries playing as no.2; the dark arts already at work, sewing a perplexing seed, wishing to start strong. Birchall, Adidas joggers, Umbro top, eyes deep in their sockets, warmed up before this with his compact style and surety. Not one to get flustered, the 51% man displays a grace and positional sense seldom seen in Bolton’s middle division. 5-11,3-11,7-11,5-11; a respectable twenty points for Ladybridge. ‘Simple balls you’re missing,’ Jeffries cries in the 4th, but Birchall can slug it out with most.

Always a pleasure to see the next performers: Cole, the flick-wrist feeder and Riley, a white Desmond Douglas, a leaper, a piece of fresh salmon in Asics trainers, grey socks and grey shorts. If there is a face that has lived with the elements, felt the harsh expressions of the world, then it is Riley’s; aquiline nose, lean constitution, a man teetering on the abyss yet paradoxically able to offer so much. Watching him, you inhabit his awareness: the rustling of a bush, a stray shot, the snap of a twig wide of the table. 2-11,5-11,2-11,4-11; Cole – not enough arm and shoulder – is unable to live with the intensity.

Greenhalgh, keen to regain momentum and revitalise his troops, steps forth. ‘Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear,’ he had mumbled before Cole’s match almost sensing an early avalanche. Now, a flutter of fingers on his modestly-rotating bat prompts a de-stressing of sorts. Opposite is his counterpart – Durose in barely-legal lime shirt; there to distract, there to harness the traffic. 2-11,5-11. And then a waft of uncompromising sweat from the George Yates final next door. Like smelling salts to Greenhalgh – the man awakening from his slumber: 6-11,5-11.

Pretty much back to level pegging. And time for the Cole/Jeffries show. A show it indeed is! Down 4-10 in the 1st, Cole’s shot clips the end of the table. ‘Oooohhh!!’ he bellows – not in an apologetic manner, but with a full-throttle warble. Jeffries sees out the game, but then at 1-7 in the 2nd Cole cranks up his banshee call once more: ‘Yeooohhh.’ It is a low-key attempt at camouflaged glee and Jeffries finds it hard to stomach: ‘I don’t mind the edge, but I don’t approve of that. Don’t laugh at me.’ The tense moment, the first note of seriousness in what has been a congenial evening thus far, seems to affect the lower division player. Cole, the tall, polite man complete with rimmed glasses absorbs a good portion of Jeffries’ acerbic words and appears shaken slightly.

Any sport will nail you the higher you go. By virtue of the larger stakes, people react, conduct themselves differently – at times forget this is a lovable pursuit. Chatting to Cole before tonight’s heavy stuff commenced, I asked how Ladybridge ‘C’ were formed, how their tight squad came together. ‘We met up on Sundays. Still do. It was Birchall Snr I was first introduced to.’ Brian Clough and not the Ladybridge commandant, Brian Greenhalgh once spoke of “disenchantment” bringing together his famous Forest players. “They didn’t like what they were doing. They wondered what they were being paid for.” With the Division Two outfit, I sense something similar. They seem bound like atoms, ready to utilise the Sabbath as a springboard to meaningful ventures.

This match falls away 4-11,2-11,2-11; Jeffries’ slick effervescence proves too much. His balanced aggression gives you an understanding of why he is a 73% man from the Prem.

Birchall (Jnr) – by no means a young man – is at the table now. The unusual aspect of this lefty’s game is the two fingers you see behind the blade. The theory books will tell you to only use the forefinger for support. There are occasions when players alternate – one for backhand, two for forehand (drives and the like) – but such a grip is rare. Given Birchall’s confident game and general flair this is all the more impressive. Against Durose – the grey-haired ‘Greek senator’ – and through the cacophony and vociferousness of Gillian Marsden’s scoring next door Birchall hauls in a staggering twenty-nine points: 5-11,6-11,11-9,7-11.

Ladybridge are driving now – bolstered by Birchall folding back the soft top. They have firmly taken the wheel. Greenhalgh fortunately takes one very respectable game from Riley amidst the hard rain: 1-11,3-11,11-8,2-11. If you look closely at Riley’s demeanour, his very skin, you will see a prominent crease across his left knee. It reminds one of a Native American Indian message engraved on a tree and is maybe a warning not to step past a certain point. Greenhalgh, too old to care – used to smothering the demons before him – displays what was formerly just a rumour in the 2nd: a wild, attacking streak seemingly permeating the bones of this pusher, this renowned, methodical player. John Rothwell was right – the great variation has begun!

The let of all lets occurs during the middle of the 1st game between Cole and Durose – the former firing a shot into the neighbouring court and the ominous naysayers worrying over Cole’s ability to self-destruct (read: Div2 nemesis, David Cain) and his meagre total throughout the evening so far. Durose is not a man you meet for easy pickings. The ever-present 58% player from the top flight has turned over the might of Flixton’s Bowen and Biggs this season (his novella November). Observing his top-spin is like watching a specially-manufactured machine with a hint of karate poise within it. But that old thing ‘styles’ and the big bird before him will not fly away: 5-11,9-11. ‘That’s good play,’ Durose acknowledges – words from the Prem worth more than compliments from Division 2.

Cole is noticeably maturing during this match. Many would view his flicked loops as soft, desirous of a smashed return, but they do have a finishing kick, a touch of the mule about them. And most flattering of all, Cole knows where the table is. An easy thing to say, but his compass is clearly a top-of-the-range model: 4-11,7-11. An attempted Durose attack in the 4th results in him hitting Brett Haslam’s drinks can outside the arena. ‘What is…’ he mumbles moments after, unable to finish the sentence – the silence a private acceptance that giving up twenty-five points has probably cost Little Lever dear.

We are nearly there. The Cornilleau 650 table has taken a pounding. Greenhalgh can afford to ease off a little against the stray elf that is Jeffries (red nose, red top, red England ‘10’ shorts). 3-11,5-11,4-11. Two big ‘not quite gonna get to the ball’ stamps from Greenhalgh courtesy of his white Joola trainers in the final game (1-11) dampen the Ladybridge total, but then Birchall – the hero of the night – is limbering up, ready to go against Riley. Ron Durose is umpiring – his change of T-shirt from lime green to grey a concession in itself that their dream is over, for no one celebrates without a good fill of sweat, no one sits pretty in resplendent gear and politely accepts the Warburton Cup.

240.5 is a punishing handicap to make up. It is four treble-twenties, an almost impossible bounty by the roadside. For the top players, errors have to be kept to a minimum, plus they must adjust slightly to the unpredictable raggedness of lower-league cohorts.

Brian Greenhalgh, John Cole and John Birchall (4-11,2-11,10-12,4-11 vs Riley) – remember those names though. They did enough (408.5 – 392). They took the ‘L’ plates off Ladybridge. Each rose to the demands when required. Each jettisoned their demons.

 

Bowing Out

Winston Churchill once referred to Clement Attlee as “A sheep in sheep’s clothing.” As I grow weary, old, fast approaching 45, more and more sheep seem to cross my path – mostly in the world of banking but in other areas too.

We all have small dreams. Mine from the age of 23 – sat in a New York hotel room listening to the blaring taxis down below – was to write a novel. A work about ‘the street’; society if you will. Despite my best efforts – five of them in fact – I ultimately failed.

And so began the drift – into table tennis reports after a ‘knock’ with friends. Into radio plays, children’s story poems, interviews with who I deemed to be the more interesting colleagues or pariahs at my place of work and short stories. Anything and everything: a lovely excuse to write and feel good, worthy even.

I recall approaching The Bolton News’s Neil Bonnar on 1st April 2013. I padded the email proposal with talk of New Journalism which unofficially began in 1962: Tom Wolfe picking up a copy of Esquire and reading a piece on Joe Louis, written by Gay Talese.

The article was mesmerising, intimate – a form of literary or ‘short story’ journalism. It was a turning point indeed, but such art was to be hounded out of fashion by 1981; fashion – that villainous word.

A few notable voices still held the torch aloft – the irreverent and mighty, Hugh McIlvanney on this side of the Atlantic for one; his prose allowing you to swim across the ably-depicted sporting scenes as if you were God. When you read McIlvanney’s work, you are forced to stop, gasp, relay the word combinations over and over in your head such is their allure.

My comparatively feeble samples – nine of them written between 2007 and 2008 – were included in the email to Bonnar in an attempt to ‘firm up’ negotiations and show him my wares, my ‘Del Boy’ goods. I had a habit of getting home after matches, taking a shower and then staying up ‘til about midnight dissecting what had unfolded.

I invented boyish nicknames for my friends, my opponents: Bazooka, Hustler, Alamo, Raider, The Destroyer, The Reverend; simple alliteration usually behind the grand title as if I imagined us walking out to lights and music.

Bonnar phoned me up one evening not too long after. The deal was cut. I was to follow in the footsteps of fine predecessors, Alan Calvert and Ian Wheeldon.

“Just try to be less flamboyant,” he advised me, referring to the work I had sent in (www.thesportswriter1.com).

I understood this. I didn’t entirely rail against it. Papers have codes to follow. Crossing the line into the semi-fantastical was unnecessary – it risked reputational damage.

Now, after writing a total of sixty-seven pieces for the paper – quite an apt number – I feel it is time to step down. The joy in sitting alongside players from the Premier Division through to Division Four has been a true privilege. Letting me into their modest venues has been kind and not always trumpeted in the manner it should have been.

New projects await me including the better nurturing of my family. I hope there is someone to pass the baton to in this rich, sporting garden.

 

 

Pathway to Quantity

People do good things. Help the blind across the road. Pick up change for old ladies. Hold doors open out of courtesy rather than coincidence.

Some volunteer. Give ten or twenty years of their life to causes they believe in. And occasionally, just occasionally, recognition shows up at the door.

Through luck, perception or merit people are handed certificates, badges, scrolls and chances to further their philanthropy.

Karen Edwards OBE is a case in point. Chief Executive of the Bolton Lads and Girls Club (BL&GC) and part of the Queen’s Birthday Honours list in 2012, she has put in a long shift, been imaginative, dogged and tenacious since the 1990s.

Spearheading a team (more recently) in control of a circa £3m budget, Ms Edwards has mostly looked after the coffers well – built relationships, developed her soft language skills with particular emphasis on words such as ‘opportunity’, ‘pathways’ and ‘evaluation’.

Her efforts overall should be furiously applauded.

But there is a gaping hole; a hole which only started to appear towards the middle of August. And the table tennis community is at a loss to explain it.

When the list of teams was compiled and sorted into five divisions for the forthcoming season, one noticeable absence was evident: BL&GC – the oldest club in the league.

Why? Digging has begun in earnest in an attempt to get a satisfactory answer yet words hung together collectively in the form of responses can be an ugly business – they turn into racketeers, miscreants, contortionists, any number of twisting and bending creations.

The general take thus far is this: There are two RBs at the Lads & Girls Club – Rachel Burke (Sport Development Manager) and Roger Bertrand (their only qualified table tennis coach). Ms Burke, a glance at on-line archives reveals, has been photographed in celebratory pose alongside Ms Edwards on numerous occasions. Mr Bertrand has not. Ms Burke, being a member of the Senior Management Team, has the ear of Ms Edwards. Mr Bertrand does not.

The recent decision at the club therefore to replace competitive league table tennis with a ‘Try Train’ model and somewhat insular youth club versus youth club scheme must be put down to blinkeredness at the top and wilful neglect of those ‘in the know’.

Whilst this summary is not entirely without sporting bias or conjecture, it does hold water.

The grand myth concerning Cassius Clay’s fourth round knock down at the hands of Henry Cooper in 1963 is that Clay (later known as Muhammad Ali) glanced over at Elizabeth Taylor, who was sitting at ringside.

Such a story, whether true or not, is marvellous. In a similar vein, it can only be assumed that Ms Edwards in August of this year – whilst in a high-level meeting – glanced over at a spectre and was sufficiently overcome that she acceded to a proposal – perhaps from her Sport Development Manager or her Youth Club Manager – that would deny at least four young players league table tennis.

The BL&GC’s new schemes may have their place but when marinated in the disillusionment of players about to break through in what would have been a key season (Jack Daniels 2012/13 [35%], 2013/14 [65%]) such plans can only be recorded under the heading ‘Folly’.

They may even result in the wholesale abandonment of half a generation of players unless designed or mapped out more clearly.

 

Cold, Cold War

cold war

What happens if we’re all bluffing, living half a life, churning out an existence which bows to the demands of politics and business?

Philip Larkin said “the eyes clear with age”. He was right. As a consequence, we begin to shut out the noise, no longer chase the pointless – steer clear of bogus thrills.

Table tennis remedies some of the hurt, acts as a part-time panacea, transports the mind to a better place. In its rhythm is joy, health, a beautiful nothingness, a disappearing act.

People play the game with wit accompanying them, the occasional growl and the odd bit of controversy. A night is rarely complete or perfect – just riddled with more good than bad if driving home with a smile.

It is ‘controversy’ which fascinates me the most.

Sport can be a truly dazzling thing capable of mending relations as in the case of the Sino-American thaw in 1971; Cold War tensions eased by the friendship between table tennis players, Zhuang Zedong and Glenn Cowan.

It can also muddy itself, exampled in 1969 by the Marylebone Cricket Club’s refusal to allow the mixed-race player, Basil D’Oliveira play for England against South Africa thus indirectly condoning the apartheid regime.

Boxing, of course, is not without its demons – unbeaten US fighter, Joe Louis (24-0) defeated by Germany’s Max Schmeling in 1936; Schmeling lauded by the Nazi Party as a symbol of Aryan supremacy.

American writer, Langston Hughes echoed part of his nation’s mood at the time: “I walked down Seventh Avenue and saw grown men weeping like children, and women sitting on the curbs with their head in their hands. All across the country that night when the news came out that Joe was knocked out, people cried.”

Such magnitude and meaning I have yet to witness in the table tennis halls of Bolton, however it prompts bigger questions over politics and rights within sport. On the outside, sport has embraced physical disabilities and differences. At a local level I regularly play against Asians, whites, blacks, people with Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s and autism. It is the norm – nothing unusual, nothing new, something that arouses only bigots.

But start talking politics, start getting inside a person, and it often ends in a rumble. Some people confuse reasoned arguments (or dialectics) with feuds. Some are hard-wired not to listen at all – see between the black and the white, or the numerous religious scriptures.

Little known is that Schmeling actually had a Jewish American manager (Joe Jacobs) but was trapped by the ideology of the day. Muhammad Ali, not all hero, was so consumed by the Nation of Islam that he chose not to mourn the assassination of the reformed Malcolm X in 1965. Two years later, a maturer Ali refused to be drafted for the Vietnam War, laudably costing him his freedom.

This week’s column was meant to be about a leftwing table tennis player who I happened to meet earlier this year. I then realised – and he concurred – that by printing his name and espousing his thoughts it might compromise his position of employment.

The default 21st century political position is not yet common sense and kindliness it would appear, but something still aligned to the interests of the day – a never-ending track to nowhere.

Perhaps one day change will come after the remaining dogs are driven out. Perhaps.

Duncan, The Diamond and The Lip

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The stand out, plum fixture of the table tennis calendar’s opening week is Hilton ‘E’ versus Hilton ‘D’. The latter, captained by Andrew Morey, cleaned up Division Two last season yet worries now permeate the camp that ex-player Craig Duncan’s new team will make a mockery of the Hilton ranking system.

Win percentages mostly do not lie. Minh Le (73%), Stephen Hunt (48%) and Morey (81%) can expect the usual dilution of their stats now they are a division higher, however more worrisome is the imminent match on September 3rd versus Division One foes Wilson Parker (93%), Duncan (87%) and Josh Sandford (50%).

If Sandford raises his game and shouts a little less (or more), then this first fixture could be discomfiting for Hilton ‘D’ – a psychological hammerblow just days into the 2014/15 winter season.

Hilton ‘E’ is a team whose combined personalities have not tread the circuit for some time. Rich in horseplay, humour, intensity and steel, its three amigos ask you to indulge them, stand back while the fireworks go off – respect not their antics but the grounded sorcery which they bring to the table.

Duncan, a southpaw, schooled in the French sassiness of Lads’ Club import and coach, Roger Bertrand believes the time is right for an assault. His fleeting appearances in the league – a mere 9 in 2011/12, zero in 2012/13 and 15 in 2013/14 – conceal a wider truth. Although not ‘match fit’, he is hungry, slavering in anticipation of a full season.

The record book shows that his pithy efforts for the soon-to-be enemy were timely and repartee-like. Dispatching Division Two’s finest, Alan Lansdale, Krishna Chauhan and new compatriot, Wilson Parker, Duncan’s form was almost too impressive, ‘rigged’ and ridiculous (symptomatic of a secret training camp). The only black marks were against Ramsbottom ringer, Neil Booth and Meadow Ben’s hard-hitting bull, Philip Calvert.

Duncan last played Morey, Le and Hunt competitively on 10th February 2012 – beating Hunt only. Two and a half years on, his awkward style is expected to pick off all three players – avenging two four-set defeats in the process.

Parker, the youngest member of Hilton ‘E’ at seventeen, yet probably their most serious player is a fine example of how to fast-track a rough diamond. With only two seasons under his belt, his stats are incomparable in the middle divisions: 96% (Div3:2012/13); 93% (Div2:2013/14). Ready now to climb even further, Parker is the face, the consequence of good coaching.

And then there is Sandford – the third wheel in the operation. He reminds you a little of Cassius Clay, the Louisville Lip pre-Sonny Liston half a century ago. He talks a big game, disses the opposition, yet the more you witness such behaviour, the more you realise it is an act of affection.

Sandford cannot for one second drop his guard, his facial gizmos, his play-acting. Even at work you get the feeling his horsing around keeps him sane. He is centre stage – Hamlet, King Lear, Macbeth – yet a different clock ticks inside him when alone.

In his mind he is writing his next wacky script. Sure – most of his words are arbitrary, off the cuff, impromptu, but the core are constructed. He is constructed. Like a clown inside the big top; a painted sneer instead of a smile.

Will he guide Hilton ‘E’ to glory? If the bat is working – yes.

 

El Borrachos

drinker

If there was to be a raid on the table tennis community – bats stolen, an Italian Job of sorts – then it would be here, outside The Crown (1 Chorley New Road). Or a mile up the road (B6226) at the Bank Top Brewery Ale House (36 Church Street).

Both public houses are frequented by the cream of Bolton’s table tennis world. Both offer sustenance to weary players intent on forgetting the more rueful moments of their drills and practice sessions.

Notable patrons – be they politicians, artists or sportsmen – have congregated in certain spots since time immemorial. Public officials wag their tongues in The Red Lion, the Marquis of Granby and the Commons Strangers’ Bar in and around Westminster. Writers latch on to the faded footprints of the literary masters whose regular haunts included Kennedy’s in Dublin, the Vesuvio Café in San Francisco and Les Deux Magots in Paris.

Inside Horwich’s modest watering holes sit two motley crews – paddles thrown in the boots of their cars or lovingly placed in the glove compartments, sweat temporarily masked by the deodorant from a selection of canisters.

The Alan Ingerson crew generally comprises Dave Scowcroft, Steve Hathaway and occasional invitee Steve Barber. Promotion and relegation in the ranks this season has meant a swapping of status for the players; Barber giving up his Premier Division mantle – allowing the Hilton ‘B’ gents a shot at survival in 2014/15. For Ingerson, banditing his way around Division Three in 2012/13 after a long lay-off, it is a minor miracle.

Opposite the Parish Church of Holy Trinity they convene – on the chairs, stools and red-chequered banquette of the Ale House, elbows shifting in order to raise their pints. Formerly the Brown Cow, this new-found table tennis haven and resting place is a curious modern phenomenon, a refurbishment gamble left to the locals to judge.

It borrows some of its grandeur from the Francis Octavius Bedford gothic-designed Holy Trinity across the road, yet there are still small touches which clamour for your attention: the beautifully curved bar, the simple chalk boards (Today’s Real Cider/Summertime Specials), the square lamp shades and the twenty-three white light switches on a single brass plate. Also, the Sterling & Noble clock with Roman numerals – tilted slightly to the right, but beguilingly so.

Away from here, from the ash and sycamore that greet you as you exit, it is a roll downhill, then onto the flat before arriving at The Crown. Motion never quite leaves you if sat at the front of this establishment in the bay window – the old Wigan B5238 sign on the grass roundabout outside directing drivers new to the parish.

A fir tree is plonked on this spot awaiting Christmas decorations that will brighten up the area. For now, however, Brett Haslam and his seven borrachos (Dennis Collier, John Bradbury, Dave Smith, Jim Chadwick, Mick Dore, Phil Riley and Steve Barber) provide the necessary exuberance.

This isn’t a fancy pub. In many ways it is trepidatious – the sign on the wall next to the huge sash windows stating PLEASE DO NOT CLOSE THE CURTAIN. The tables, separated like planets, orbit the bar. Candelabras hang from the ceiling. Flashing fruit machines beckon victims. Willow-pattern plates snuggle up next to Horwich Harriers.

Walk in late on a Thursday and you witness history: table tennis’s Ernest Hemingway gabbing away.

Barry Walsh – The Inverse Buccaneer

de Havilland

To look at him now is to miss the man he was. Perhaps in the small, wrinkled canyons which line his face, it is possible to see a sliver of the past, a glimpse of the famous de Havilland Aircraft Company – his former employer – but mainly he is as unrecognisable as the large field and forest that Horwich once was.

Barry Walsh, born in June 1942 – six months after Pearl Harbour – loves three things: history; football; and table tennis. His living room is lined with books about the Second World War – fights at sea, land battles and the prodigious personalities that dominated the era.

He reels off, in a slightly stuttered fashion, a quote from Franklin D. Roosevelt following the destruction of USS Kearny by a German U-boat: “…history has recorded who fired the first shot. In the long run, however, all that will matter is who fired the last shot.”

Such feeling, such inspiration, matters to Walsh. Powerful radio broadcasts, before he even travelled the womb, somehow capture what he represents – what he stands for and looks to uphold.

A former committee member at the Hilton Table Tennis Centre and one of six official key holders, Walsh only recently stepped down. Seven years of ‘letting people in’ was enough. The man always seen on Sundays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays was reducing his outings to just one thus finally retiring in legitimate fashion.

Recent years on the table tennis circuit have led to this moment – his number of matches declining from 72 (2011/12), to 21 (2012/13) to a mere 6 (2013/14); his last victory a season-ending barnstormer against John Lawrence on 6th April 2012 (11-8, 11-8, 11-6). Lawrence twice bowed to the might of Walsh that season, as did Eric Shaw and Bob Waller.

Those days cease to hold much significance for Walsh though. Despite being one half of the uproarious Summer League outfit, the Coffin Dodgers and noted for wearing a fine collection of bob hats and T-shirts at the club, it is the 1950s and 60s that still have him entranced.

Re-awakening memories of his first few years of employment in the engineering sector and his initial rejection by de Havilland, he recalls: “Listen to this. This is what people can do. My brother Clive knew an upstairs guy – one of the bosses. He got me in. Those eight or nine years made me. It was proper engineering. Horwich was a massive place.”

Given the nickname ‘Chert’ from his footballing days, Walsh understood the importance of working for a grand and reputable British aviation manufacturer – its premises built in Horwich in 1937; “part of a group of ‘shadow’ factories constructed in Lancashire, away from the main bombing zone in the south.”

The Mosquito (1940), the Vampire (1943) and the Comet (1949) still fly through the mind of Walsh. They provide succour and compound his great thoughts of Church Road “bomber command” teacher, Mr Worrell.

Aware of his pupil’s eyesight deficiency and the need to wear glasses, Worrell produced the classic words: “Walsh – you’ll have to play at left back.”

From left back to engineering to table tennis, Walsh’s size 7 ½ feet now stand at the crest of a small mountain having been made an Honorary Lifetime Member of the Hilton Centre. For the inverse buccaneer, it is another beginning.

 

BLGC Seek Next Generation

Empires fall. Bit by bit they disintegrate – marry their mortar with the dust and dirt on the ground. The Ottomans, the Romans, the Persians, the Mongols – all had their era, their might, a trail of subjects and slaves; hubristic legacies now largely forgotten, yet represented by potent dents in the minds of historians and archeologists.

The Bolton Lads’ Club began life in 1889 as the Children’s Bolton Club. It was the same year that gave birth to the Eiffel Tower, Adolf Hitler and Vincent Van Gogh’s The Starry Night.

Founded by two church leaders and three industrialists, acutely aware of the plight of young, cotton mill children and their need, initially, just to be “able to wash, eat and sleep in peace away from their looms”, it served a distinguished role as a hostel.

Less than a decade later, the stampede began: “They came in their hundreds, for of all animals, lads are perhaps the most gregarious. They came to meet their fellows under conditions somewhat more comfortable and convenient than their natural meeting place, the street. They initially came for amusement and for games and for nothing else, and if we had told them it was our intention to improve them they would certainly not have come.

“But it is interesting how quickly their attitude to the club has changed, it is no longer our club, it is theirs, and we merely manage it for them. It is no longer a mere place of amusement, but is a place which plays a real part in their lives. It is a place for honour and for success.”

In 1947 table tennis entered the Lads’ Club’s doors. Bark Street – the old location – welcomed the fevered game, entered its recruits into the Bolton League. And so, the beautiful sport was inaugurated, two decades after the first World Championships in London and the year the International Table Tennis Federation or ITTF was formed (1926).

This led to a crossover point in 1952 – Japan’s World Champion, Hiroji Satoh signalling the end of the hard bat / pimpled rubber era and the rise of the sponge bat. From wiff-waff, to ping-pong, to table tennis sophisticates, the game developed – reducing the net height from 6 ¾” to 6”, introducing US celluloid balls and embracing technology on an unprecedented scale.

The Lads’ Club evolved by introducing girls into its ranks. In 2002, Team BLGC moved to its new £5million premises on Spa Road – the rear of the building resting impressively on White Lion Brow.

Inside, Tomorrows Citizens roam. Sports and games are played – basketball, pool, Xbox, football, boxing, gym. Underneath the Harrison Burton Climbing Wall, however, is a pitiful sight: two TT tables. (There used to be five permanently unfolded.) Numbers are short. Coach Roger Bertrand (07530 690985) and volunteer Ian Monk (07903 827703) have just three 12-18 year olds for the forthcoming September-April season. They are, in many ways, the Blackpool FC of the table tennis league.

What has gone wrong? How can they resurrect the glory days (2012/13) when their ‘A’ team finished a credible 6th in Division Four?

By its very nature, a youth club loses players. Suddenly, there is nothing to replenish the squad though. The feeder club’s diet is now a mirage.

Bold/passionate, empire-saving youngsters required: Mondays 5-7pm & Thursdays 6-9pm. Bertrand is waiting.